This week has turned out to be quite miserable, temperature-wise. Unless you’re native to the Rain Forest. Then you might feel right at home. Of course, with the Dakota County Fair starting up, I knew the weather would rise to the occasion. You can’t truly have the ultimate fair experience without eating deep fried cheese while standing in the blazing sun, losing half your body weight in perspiration.
Weathercasters sometimes tell us how we can know that the heat index is too high to be out playing or exercising. But their reasons are so technical. They don’t seem to be able to bring it down to the common man. So I decided to give you a list of ways you can know that it’s “dangerously” hot outside.
1. You know it’s hot outside when squirrels refuse to scamper through the trees, but stay inside and play poker.
2. You know it’s hot outside when you take the dogs for a walk and are seriously envious when they stop to drink from water runoff in the street gutter.
3. You know it’s hot outside when Orchids and African Violets spontaneously bloom in your backyard.
4. You know it’s hot outside when the neighbor is frying eggs and bacon on the hood of his pickup cause his grill is broken.
5. You know it’s hot outside when M&Ms melt in your hand before they can make it to your mouth.
6. You know it’s hot outside when entering your home, set at a comfortable 70 degrees, feels like walking into Antarctica.
7. You know it’s hot outside when you step out to pick up the newspaper and have to take a shower before you can run on the treadmill.
8. You know it’s hot outside when Global Warming begins to make sense.
So be safe out there and don’t overdo things in this weather. You may end up embarrassing yourself by lapping from a mud puddle.
What are some ways you know it’s hot outside?