There have been a lot of random naked men in the news lately. It seems running around without their clothes on is liberating. Except that they tend to get arrested.
I call it dangerous behavior, but that’s because I don’t like sunburn, mosquito bites, or that strange reality show called, “How to look good naked.”
In Florida last week an ex-governor of Alabama was spotted wandering naked through a campground. He wasn’t out in the wilderness alone scaring squirrels—no, he was in a well-populated camping area scaring fellow campers. (The perfect excuse never to take your children camping)
Another man was stopped for speeding in Delaware and not only was he driving drunk but “driving commando” as well. He told the police he lost his pants. (A good example when teaching your children why they shouldn’t drink)
In Connecticut a man showed up for his dentist appointment five days late and bare as a peeled banana. The receptionist screamed and called police. Obviously, he didn’t look like Arnold Schwarzenegger in “The Terminator,” but then who does? The police later found him at his house. He told them he’d been sleeping all day. “So, who was that naked man in the dentist’s chair wearing nothing but a spit bib?” the police may have asked. He’ll probably sue the makers of Ambien. People have been known to get up and eat everything in their refrigerator when under the influence. Perhaps it’s also possible they wander out to get their teeth cleaned. (Another good reason to teach your children not to sleep in the nude when taking sleeping pills)