Barney Frank makes me go “ick” without ever opening his mouth, but when he speaks his gross-out factor skyrockets. Why—with all the money he’s stolen from the American public while perverting the Senate—does he not buy himself a nice set of wooden teeth?
Women who wear shirts way too tight in the middle make me go “ick!” Accentuating your multiple rolls of belly, side, and back fat is not pleasing to the eye. My own mirror tells me this every morning. I know everything in the store is made of spandex these days, but really ladies, get a size larger or wear some Spanx. You’re damaging the eyes of beholders and that is worse than being a fashion holdout.
Furry footed burrowers—or as I call them: men that wear flip flops—make me go “ick!” Okay, I know it’s a free country with equal opportunity and all, but men should Just Say No to flip flops. Real men don’t wear flip flops. They wear combat boots or running shoes, or hikers, or dress shoes. Anything but flip flops! Except maybe spiky heels.
Delta airline’s version of Pot Roast makes me go “ick!” I had Delta’s lovely pot roast on my way to Hawaii and believe me it would be worth your time to pack a PB&J in your carryon. Sealed into a microwavable plastic four-inch square, was an indescribable assault on the senses. To say it was slightly chunky, smooshy, gooey, and offensively smelly, is putting it lightly. I know that is a lot of adjectives and ly’s, when I should just say—“icky!”
People that discard their dog’s poop bags along the sidewalk make me go “ick!” Why in all that is holy would anyone bother to bag it up if they weren’t going to put it in the garbage? Heaven’s rain can’t even wash away their crime, for it’s sealed in plastic until some poor soul runs over it with their bicycle or steps on it with a bare foot. That “ick!” goes double for people that change their child’s diaper in a Walmart parking lot, toss the filthy thing on the ground, and drive away. There should be a special fine for these people. Diaper toss and run–$200. Doggy Doo abandonment–$150. Maybe then they’d find the nearest receptacle and do the right thing.
Those are just a few of the things that make me go “ick!” Feel free to leave a comment and share your own “ick” moments.
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