Mutant Deadbeats

Remember when you were twenty-something? For some of us it was a “few” years back and maybe our memories are a bit cloudy, but I’m sure you remember what you were focused on at the time. Whether it was having babies, finishing college, looking for the perfect mate, or starting a career, (not necessarily in that order), you were busy looking to the future.

Strangely enough, twenty-somethings these days seem to be either stuck in the past, (childhood), or stuck in the moment, not believing or caring that there may be a future.

In Florida, a young man in his twenties decided to dress up and rob a Laundromat. Wearing a mask and sword, he evidently thought he was a teenage mutant ninja turtle. Now first of all, I know for a fact that a ninja turtle would never rob a Laundromat, but perhaps he wanted to be one of those evil foot soldiers they were always fighting and defeating. And yes, he was also defeated, by a woman who called 911.

In Idaho, a twenty-three year old had to have duct-tape put over his mouth cause he wouldn’t shut up in court when the judge was trying to speak. Whether he was mentally disturbed or not is up for dispute, but when the judge had the bailiff remove the tape after sentencing, the young man challenged the judge to an arm wrestling match. I’m pretty sure the judge just looked at him with raised brows and a bored look and strode out with his black robes flapping in the wind. But the young man, on the other hand, probably thought the judge was scared of him and he was the big winner. Actually he was. He won free room and board for an indeterminate amount of time.

Now you probably think these examples are just random anomalies in a random world, but you’d be wrong. The randomness is really in finding a twenty-something who does have purpose and a plan. They are rare to be sure, like a four-leaf clover in a patch of dandelions.

Televison, the mirror to our society, portrays this generation as without purpose, and makes it look appealing. “My Boys” is a bunch of guys who sit around, drink beer, and call each other dude a lot. “Chuck” is a bunch of guys who work at an electronics store with no other purpose than to do as little as possible and avoid growing up. “The Big Bang Theory” is a bunch of guys that are very smart, sitting around talking about Star Trek and playing video games, while wishing girls liked them. I could go on but it would take a lot of words and I know how short the average attention span is these days.

I’m not saying these programs don’t have entertainment value. They’re as funny as heck. But while you’re laughing, you’re also hoping your own kids don’t become the butt of the joke. Unless they’re an actor on one of those shows and make twenty thousand an episode.

Twenty-somethings are living the purposeless life, in spite of massive past sales of Rick Warrens book, “The Purpose Driven Life.” Obviously, they were not his target audience. If they’d read it, I’m sure they would take it just as seriously as they take the Surgeon General’s statement on the Marlboros they’re smoking.

In this purposeless life males tend to live in a make-believe world where video games and cartoon characters come alive, whereas females live in a make-believe world where morals and femininity no longer matter. The two co-exist in a twisted place where there are no absolutes and life is just a game of chance. That’s why these girls have no problem sleeping with and having the children of deadbeat boyfriends with no job and no intention of getting one. Which also explains the rise in single motherhood, deadbeat dads, Playstation sales, and welfare expansion—among other things.

Thank God life is not just a game of chance and there are absolutes. And I’m hopeful that the four-leaf clovers out there will multiply and be an influence on the dandelions of this generation. But if not—at least their antics will get into the news of the weird and entertain us all.