Thank goodness the government stepped in to help during America’s most recent national disaster. If it wasn’t for taxpayer subsidized converter box coupons included in the bailout plan, millions more innocent citizens could be sitting around their homes today without the ability to watch early morning cartoons or Matt Lauer.
The president knows what can happen when jobless people suddenly have no access to a daily dose of brain-numbing talk show programming. What would they do instead of binging in front of the television? Rob the nearest convenience store? Beat their kids? Steal a car? He was totally thinking of others—not the Nielson Ratings plummeting to the ground during his daily speeches—when he insisted everyone in America must have television access. Not that the media would take notice or make mention of a nose-dive in viewership.
Supposedly there are still over two million people out in the cold, without a converter box, cable, or a helping hand. Two million people unable to get their ancient televisions to work and wondering why. Two million people who either don’t want to watch digital TV and refuse to upgrade, or after hearing the commercial 50,000 times in the past year decided to wait and see if Obama really cared enough to come to their homes personally and take care of it for them. I’m betting that’s not going to happen, but he is bending over backward to make sure “no deadbeats get left behind” in television watching. I’m pretty sure this program will be much more successful than the Bush “no child left behind” education plan. Democrats are one hundred percent behind this one.
I’m not sure when television became one of the necessities of life along with air, food, and water. Sometime after President Kennedy got shot I think, when radio commentary no longer cut it. When “don’t believe anything you hear, and only half of what you see,” became the norm. Of course, with the creative computer people out there now, you can’t believe your eyes either. So, when government says television access is a necessity, you’ve got to wonder what they’re really up to.