Growing old must have been a real bummer fifty-plus years ago. They didn’t have all the great products we have now. They were still using plain old aspirin for flu and colds and smashed fingers and headaches and fevers and cramps. It was the miracle drug.
Now we have over-the-counter medications pinpointing our exact symptoms. One for backache, another for headache, one for coughs with fever, one for coughs with sore throat, and one for cramps, bloating and irritability. (Which makes me wonder why those women in the fifties always looked so happy in heels and pearls, scrubbing their floors with the latest in technology boar-bristle scrub brushes when they didn’t even have access to Midol!) But I digress.
I know everyone spouts that bologna about 50 being the new 40 and how people today live longer, look younger, and feel better than those that came before. But I don’t know if I’m buying it.
Our lives today are padded with government safety regulations. Maybe that prolongs lives. Fifty years ago people were probably falling off their bicycles, right and left, and landing on their unprotected heads. But more than safety, I think comfort has extended lives. Never mind seatbelts—here in Minnesota, heated car seats alone have probably extended life expectancy by five to seven years.
As for looking younger—that can come from better makeup and hair color, and/or being married to a plastic surgeon.
Feeling better…really depends on the moment, right?
I was looking at all the stuff I use these days to keep from feeling old and decrepit.
On my bathroom counter I have:
Sensitive toothpaste – because the older I get, even inanimate objects must be sensitive to my feelings or get out of the way.
Artificial tears – because my eyeballs are drying up along with my patience.
Aspercreme – because life is a lot shorter now and I don’t have time for some tablet to dissolve in my stomach and work its way to my muscles.
Face cream – because apparently the sandman has been a little too liberal in sprinkling his crusty merchandise around at night.
Tylenol PM – because lying next to my husband and listening to him snore at three in the morning is a precarious situation for a pre-menopausal woman with an extra pillow at hand.
What are some things you use to look and feel younger than your ancestors—besides photoshopping your double chin out of the picture?
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I haven’t been using anything age defying yet, but now that I’m 23 I notice that I’m developing wrinkles! Oh no! I better get on that
I just spent a ridiculous amount of money for an undergarment that is supposed to smooth out my middle & hide those ‘unsightly’ bulges underneath my clothes.
After unsuccessfully trying to get it on, I had to pull out the directions from the box to find out how it might actually fit over those bulges in the first place….
Moo-moos are looking better all the time!