I know some people think that change is always good and “sticking by your man,” or “staying true to your convictions,” or even “believing in right & wrong,” is just old-fashioned and close-minded. And in the past couple of months we have seen change that blatantly flies in the face of common morals, turns every issue into a shade of gray, puts the thumbscrews to any objectors, and makes the cold tundra of Canada look more and more appealing as the days go by.
Our government now has control of banking systems and car companies. They want control of insurance companies, the medical system, and talk radio. If they could only get control of Joe Biden’s mouth things might be better all around…
The strangest change that’s being pushed through legislation these days, and makes me want to learn French Canadian as soon as possible, is twisted enough to turn your grandmother into salt. I’m not talking about same-sex marriage or the abortion issue, but something much more bizarre.
After years and years of being told that Marijuana kills brain cells, leads to harder drugs, and is a scourge on society, now “experts” tell us that because Marijuana has such great medicinal properties and because people just like it so much—we should legalize and sell it in our local grocery store. I suppose they could place it between sprouts and fresh parsley. It’s sort of a weedy, grassy stuff, right? The really big kicker is that many congressmen think it’s the next “big idea.” Well, everyone knows addicts are willing to pay whatever it takes to get what they want, and why shouldn’t government cash in on the deal by legalizing the drug and taking their cut in taxes.
On the flip side of the coin is the evil Soda Pop industry. The government wants to tax it out of existence because it is bad for us and they always know what’s best for their constituents. Just like a kind father or Big Brother, they are looking out for us little (stupid) people. And just think what they can do with all those new taxes! Maybe they’ll buy a new state-of-the-art teleprompter for the White House’s master bathroom. That way the president won’t misspeak his lines when he tells his wife they’re out of shampoo.
So in about ten years down the road things will be mighty different in America. Schools will put up signs that say, “Just say NO to Pop,” and “Here’s your brain on Soda!” Before your children leave for school you’ll remind them “not to take pop from strangers,” and “don’t take that first drink cause pop is addictive and illegal.”
Sugar addicts will stand furtively on street corners looking to score some soda pop—while children light up on the swings at school, getting high so they can feel better about their failing grades and lack of interest in anything worthwhile.
That’s change we can believe in!
America will be like a big old Doobie Brothers Concert where the air is thick with second-hand smoke, although it will be legal second-hand smoke—none of that killer cigarette kind. And peace and love will hang over all. Sort of like in the Stepford Wives, except our country is equal opportunity. Everyone gets to smoke the happy joint.
This makes our government’s job so much easier. J
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