I’m sitting here listening to a free song download by Kristin Chambers called “It’s not you, it’s me.” I’m not trying to push business her way, (although it is free), just telling you where my strange thoughts are coming from today.
Everyone knows those words are the padded club that weak individuals swing when they want to break up with their “no longer significant other.” I was wondering what other relationships the words, “it’s not you, it’s me,” might be used to end things?
Maybe there are relationships you’d like to end before the new year begins, business associates you can no longer tolerate, a crazy relative you hate fishing with, or a reason to build that privacy fence between you and your neighbor.
“It’s not you, it’s me, neighbor. I don’t want to be tempted to stare over at your deck and see your very large wife sunbathing in the nude. A privacy fence will keep me from going blind.”
Or what if I used it for the beautician who cuts my hair. “It’s not you, it’s me. I’m tired of this style and you’re a one trick pony. I think I’ll try Great Clips down the road. I never know what that girl with the purple hair is going to do, but at least it’ll be a change. Good luck with the shag.”
This Christmas it might be a nice little stocking stuffer for the family get-together. “It’s not you, it’s me. I feel we’ve seen enough of each other—after all, we grew up together. I’d like to see other people for the holidays instead.”
Perhaps the phrase would work well with the UPS man. “It’s not you, Brown, it’s me. I just don’t like the way you look in those shorts anymore. That potbelly is not what I had in mind when I ordered those boxes of stuff for you to carry to my door. The mailman looks as if he’s been working out lately. I think I’ll go with USPS from now on.”
I’m definitely going to try it on the girl at Subway. “It’s not you, it’s me. I really like black olives and when I say I want extra black olives I mean more than three slivers of one olive. I know your manager told you to be frugal but if you don’t give me extra black olives I’m going to smack you up side the head!”
I’m not sure if that last one fits, but I had to get it off my chest.
Would you like to end things with someone by giving them the line, “It’s not you, it’s me?” Leave a comment and vent your feelings. You’ll feel better.