|I always have these two to keep me company while I write|
The holiday season has nearly sucked the life out of me. Not only is the weather cold and drab, drying my skin to the texture of fine mummy, but people are rude in stores, drive oblivious to the rest of creation on the roads, and pretty much make me want to crawl under my desk and never come out again.
I admit, as a writer, I am somewhat of a hermit, but when you’ve been locked away at your desk for so long and then are thrust naked (metaphorically speaking) into the rush of humanity at this time of year, it can be quite harmful to one unaccustomed to dealing with actual people that do whatever they want and won’t follow your author(itarian) direction.
I love to shop online, but sometimes the call of the wild still speaks to me. I dress warmly, make sure I have snacks in my purse just in case I get lost on the way to Target, and drive out of my comfortable neighborhood with my “money does grow on trees” plastic credit card to shop in the wild suburb chain stores.
If I weren’t so worried that someone would ding my car, I wouldn’t have to park a half a mile from the front doors, but I’ve got my warm wool coat and scarf, so I’m good. Then once inside, I sweat like a possum in heat from my energetic walk and because the store’s temperature just happens to be set at 95º.
I thought I’d pretty much mastered shopping without actually coming in contact with other individuals, but at this time of year that is nearly impossible – cause they’re everywhere. I often wonder why some people can’t schedule their shopping at a more convenient time for me. It’s not as if there aren’t fourteen more of this same department store planted every other mile up and down the county. Couldn’t they shop at one a bit further from my neighborhood?
Once I leave the store and head for home, I feel a rush of impatience to be back in my comfortable environment, safe from flu germs, crazy shoppers with pepper spray, making small talk with strangers at registers, and listening to one-sided conversations of people yelling into their cell phones. (They should at least put it on speaker-phone so we can enjoy both sides.)
But in spite of my Beetle’s turbo engine, I can never break the sound barrier or even the speed limit, because every driver spaces their vehicle a mere cars-length apart in both lanes and refuses to let me pass. I have never figured out why car companies advertise the number of seconds it takes to get up to 60mph, because NO ONE ever does it! I try but the CSP (citizens speed police) won’t let me.
I’m back in my safe place again, sitting at the desk, typing this blog for you. See – I like people! Just at a distance. Happy Holidays and safe shopping!