Arnold Schwarzenegger pulled out a big old bowie knife the other day and said he was going to “slash the budget of California.” I took his symbolism to heart and bought my own budget cutters. Electric doggy shears. Yes, grooming the dogs at home would definitely cut the budget around here and maybe then I could afford to go to the salon myself.
Well, it looks way easier than it actually is. We put Willow out on the deck tabletop and proceeded to buzz her with the shears for a good fifteen minutes, fur flying in the wind and littering the grass below.
She looked the same.
We adjusted the clippers to a lower setting and began again.
My husband decided since she was so matted underneath that we should just give her a crew-cut all over. He began in the middle of her back…and ended there. Her fur was so thick, the clippers bogged down and wouldn’t go anymore. She looked like she’d either been wearing a saddle for a long time or she was suffering from osteoporosis.
After taking a turn at the second dog—just in case the first one had abnormally strong, uncuttable fur—we finally gave up and realized our dog grooming abilities were nil and void.
Instead of saving money, cutting the family budget, and being self-sufficient, we wasted $30 bucks on worthless clippers and still had to take the dogs to a “qualified” groomer.
While there, Rugby had a near death experience, falling off the table and whacking his head on the floor, and I still didn’t get a discount.
Slashing the budget is much harder than Arnold made it out to be. Or maybe I just need a big knife.